Fell in love with a lover.
Situations where a married man has a mistress or a married lady has a lover are not uncommon. These relationships are always risky, secret, and teetering on the edge of disclosure. Most often they are associated with new sensations, the experience of unusual emotions, often have an undisguised sexual connotation. Sometimes both participants of the “triangle” are so carried away that real feelings flare up between them. But what to do when a woman has fallen in love with a lover? How to avoid this? And are there any signs of such love?
Finding out the true motives.
The simplest method that will help you not fall in love with your lover is to find out the true motives of infidelity. If a woman went “on the side”, there is always a logical explanation for this act. For example, the spouse is so busy at work that he does not pay enough attention to it. He regularly travels on business trips, is not at home. It is elementary that the spouse begins to get bored.
The second reason for infidelity may be financial difficulties. For example, spouses barely make ends meet. But suddenly, a wealthy macho man appears on the horizon, ready to solve all her financial problems.
Often the reason for infidelity is associated with monotony, complete or partial dissatisfaction in bed. What did you think? Don’t just give men variety. Everyday life and everyday life reduce attraction, cause indifference, and also encourage you to look for new sensations on the side. Of course, it is important that a young lady inspired by good sex does not fall in love with her lover.
Sometimes the reason for female infidelity is hidden in good intentions. For example, when the boss of the “horned” spouse acts as a lover. In such a situation, a woman meets with a lover only to help promote her spouse on the career ladder, increase his salary, etc. This is a deliberately self-serving arrangement of a woman. Fell in love with a lover? It is immediately clear that no.
Another reason is revenge. Yes, yes. Women, though not bloodthirsty creatures, are very vindictive. For example, the wife repeatedly finds her faithful in conversation with some ladies. They write him love messages, call him in the middle of the night, thank him for a great time in messages, or even show up at his house.
Seeing such dishonest behavior on the part of the husband, the wife decides to take revenge on him and take a lover. In this way, she plans to make him jealous, forget about all his passions, etc.
In a word, there can be many reasons. The main advice on how not to fall in love with a lover is to soberly assess the situation. For what purpose exactly did you have an intimate relationship on the side? Be honest with yourself. What do you need it for? What prompted you to do this?
What does the analysis of your original goal give you?
It is easy to identify the real cause of infidelity. It is enough to weigh everything and look at the situation soberly. At the same time, the main thing is to remind yourself of your intentions whenever you feel a change of feelings for your partner. This is simply necessary to do so that you do not fall in love with a lover. What to do if the ultimate goal of just about sex? Repeat it to yourself like a mantra. Then there will be no problems with falling in love.
Timely placement of the points above the “and»
In order for you not to fall in love with your lover, remember the second golden rule: agree in advance with your partner about the limits of what is allowed. This means that he must also be aware of your true relationship. Do not allow words of love on his part. Stop these attempts. Remind him that you love your husband, and you cheat on him with him, for example, just to satisfy your sexual appetites.
Listen, but not melt.
Do you know how not to fall in love with a married lover? Don’t have any relationships on the side. This will save you from unnecessary falling in love and save your nerves. But if you already happen to have an unscheduled affair, be vigilant. Remember that women love with their ears. And the men are masters of putting noodles on them.
Therefore, your main task is to listen to him, but not to melt away from the pressure of beautiful words. Do not forget: if he agreed to the betrayal, it may not be his first. Moreover, he deftly deceives his wife. Comes up with different situations in order to pay attention to you. This does not mean that you are dearer to him than his wife. Make no mistake. It also fulfills its goals and needs. So, you should not believe when he promises, for example, to leave his wife for you. If he is with you, it does not mean that he is in love. It is easier for a lover to control his feelings than for his partner.
Remember that often the mistress and the wife complement each other. So, this turn of events suits the unfaithful husband perfectly. The point is the same – it is so convenient for him. Otherwise, he would have left the family long ago.
What is the danger of falling in love for a mistress?
Like women, men also cheat for a number of reasons. Infidelity of the husband is often associated with the need to change the situation, with self-affirmation, the search for new sensations. Sometimes in a lover, a man is looking for a friend who always supports, understands, listens and gives valuable advice. This especially happens when the official spouse criticizes, humiliates, insults a man. And don’t be offended, dear ladies. He will look for understanding on the side.
Therefore, you should not forget that you are not a wife, but a mistress. And what are the main advantages of this status? You don’t owe anyone anything. Love relationships in the “triangle” are communication without obligations. Don’t burden your situation with falling in love.
Meet your needs and make this relationship easy and relaxed. Remember, a lover in love becomes demanding, suspicious, capricious, jealous. And becomes the second wife, who “saws”, presses and demands from the lover the realization of her needs.
And what will a man do with such a passion? Correctly. He will leave her and look for a new relationship that will be easy and relaxed.
It is not necessary to bind a lover with gifts.
Another simple tip: do not tie your lover with gifts. Remember, you actually have a mutually beneficial relationship with him. At the expense of you, he meets his needs, including physical ones. And you do the same at his expense. He is neither your relative nor your best friend. Do not give him gifts.
Don’t patronize him too much. Not everyone likes caring moms. To allow yourself to take care of someone is to allow yourself to love them. Remember, he’s not your man. He already has a beloved wife, from whom for some reason he does not leave.
You don’t ask him about his family.
At the very beginning of your relationship, try not to get involved in your lover’s family. It is not necessary to find out anything about his spouse, children and other family values. Unless, of course, he decides to tell you for some reason.
Moreover, asking a man about his family, you risk hearing another sweet lie. For example, many men tell their naive passions that they rarely sleep with their wives or do not maintain any intimate relations at all. In reality, they are in a relationship with you and your wife almost simultaneously. At the same time, the spouse is sure that the faithful loves only her and is 100% faithful to her.
The wife always comes first.
It is extremely important to understand that the wife for your lover will always play a major role in his life. Despite all the problems and reasons why he went to the side, he will come home, communicate with her and behave as if nothing had happened.
With his wife, he is connected by a common life, experienced emotions, memories, property, children. According to statistics, 99 % of men do not like to change something in their lives. Therefore, they do not abandon their wives, continuing to tell fairy tales to their mistresses.
What if you have already fallen in love?
Of course, you shouldn’t push yourself to such extremes. But what if you still fall in love with a lover? First, pull yourself together. Weigh the pros and cons.
But the main thing is to estimate how much time you are together. And if this time has long passed for 5-10 years, think about it. If during this time he did not leave the family for you, then he will never leave again.
Try to find negative features in it. While you are idealizing it, but it is worth looking more closely… Also, psychologists advise to conduct an experiment, inviting the partner to open up to both spouses. His reaction will tell you everything. Most likely, you will understand that it is no longer possible to continue a relationship with him.
When you’re married but in love.
If you are married, isn’t it time to switch your attention from your lover to your husband? For example, if you are not satisfied with an intimate relationship, sign up for any interesting courses, take a training course to restore the relationship, talk to your spouse. It is quite possible that he did not even suspect that somehow you are not satisfied, and even more so did not think that his wife would fall in love with a lover. Try to establish relationships in your own family.
“A single woman wants to meet you…»
If you are single and long-term communication with your lover has not led to anything, break off such a relationship. Life passes. You’re not getting any younger. Therefore, you should not waste time on an initially unpromising relationship. Don’t focus your attention solely on your lover. In parallel, look for someone who really suits you.
Lover in love: signs.
As you can see, in most cases, lovers stay in their families and continue to meet with their mistresses for many years. While one of the parties does not realize the impasse of the situation.
But sometimes the lover himself falls in love with his partner. The main sign of this phenomenon is the desire to be with the object of your attention constantly. He takes care of the lady. Spends time mostly with her and rarely at home. And finally, he starts a conversation with his passion about the future. He does not delay the divorce and offers his hand and heart to his beloved. But make no mistake. This happens only in 1 % of cases. Therefore, keep a clear head and do not waste time on a relationship without a future.